Mommy Monday: Megan's Story
Each week, I'll share the story of a mother. Not just any mother, but a mother that surpassed the odds, a mother that overcame, a mother that didn't give up, a mother that believed that the Lord had plans for her family. These are the stories of mothers after infertility when her precious miracle entered her world. May these stories inspire you, give you hope, and encourage you to keep believing for your miracle.
I want to introduce you to this week's Featured Mommy Monday. Meet Megan Mollere. This is her story:
Our journey is a blessing, a blessing I felt the urge to share. I'm Megan, married to the tall bearded man - TJ (who I call, T). I am so blessed to be married to this wonderful hunk - 8 years married to be exact. We have been together since 2008. If you know us, we are pretty quirky and funny, so expect this blog post to be the same. We started on our path to complete our family in 2011. With the new year (2017), and after praying about it for a while, I felt our story should be written.
I hope it can inspire others, give some hope, make a few laughs, and may give a little tears. So, welcome to our journey - you're in for a fun ride!
After we got married, 2011, we had 4 different names picked out for if we ended up with an unexpected pregnancy.
It was mid-2014 when we decided it wouldn't hurt to start trying. Our close friend's wedding was in May of 2014 and figured if we would try a month prior I wouldn't be showing by then. Wishful thinking then, right? In my heart, I knew we would have a bit of a struggle. I had a horrid experience with a certain Gyno that told me I would have issues having children, and practically shoo'ed me away like I was an animal. ZERO COMPASSION. I knew my hormones were imbalanced, but I was hopeful. I had finished college and started my job. You know that phrase.. "finish college, get married, get a house, have a baby". That was my goal, well... it still is. I just had no idea what trying to conceive (TTC) would be all about. I changed to a new Gyno group who has treated me very well. They have somewhat helped on my outlook on this process. I was diagnosed with PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome many years ago. This is an endocrine system disorder, where you may have enlarged ovaries that contain small collections of fluid - called follicles - located in each ovary. (Yes, it is painful, but I have gotten used to it) These cysts that form can rupture, which is what I mean by painful. This disorder throws EVERYTHING out of sorts with your body. I am established and followed by a Gyno, an Endocrinologist, and an MD - CMO who is certified in NaPro & Creighton Model Fertility Care. So, I am in good hands. Each of these doctors is a blessing. They are very compassionate and kind, which is something my little heart needs during this path. They are each working hard to help get to the goal, of a healthy pregnancy and baby.
TTC (trying to conceive) changes a person, changes your marriage. After a couple of years of trying, those negatives each month seemed to dig even deeper. I can understand couples who it took a couple of months to get pregnant and they complain because it is frustrating. But.. what is more frustrating and hurtful is when that complaint is being told to someone who secretly had been trying for years. I feel an urge to just say how it is never really talked about when couples are having issues achieving pregnancy. Seems infertility is put in this black door that should never be opened by society. Well, I HATE THAT. I used to be that girl, mentioned above who was secretly trying for a couple of years and hearing different girls complain. In my mind, I wanted to share my story, I just wasn't ready yet. I had made different friend's who were struggling with achieving pregnancy and that helped a lot. But, there came a time all within a couple of months, where many people had asked Tj or I "Why no babies yet?", "You know you're not getting any younger...", "What's the wait for?" etc, etc, etc. TJ and I became frustrated, not at the people but at ourselves. That was when I decided to slowly start letting people know, we are on this journey, and we need prayers.
We embarked on the adoption path in January of 2017. After much discussion for YEARS, TJ and I felt this was the year to jump on the adoption bandwagon. We knew our hearts were finally ready for it. We prayed and prayed and prayed for guidance. Each scripture I would read lead me to the thought of adoption. T and I always kept the topic on-going but kept it silent between us for a while.
T and I discussed adoption prior to getting married, in high school. It was something we always wanted to do, just wasn't sure when our time would be, until recently (2017). We felt so much more at peace after our decision, I can feel it and see it. TTC puts so much stress and hurt onto your body, I can't even begin to explain it. Pursuing adoption, it had changed from stress and hurt - to - hopeful, anxious and nervous. All good things!
August 2018, our adoption agency called... asking if we were available for a "phone call". I was speechless when I read that message and remember just crying because I was so eager to see how this chapter in our book of life would play out by God going and showing us.
Did nervousness cross my mind? Duh. I am human but again I put my full trust in God's hands. He knows what He is doing.
We did a conference call with I believe a total of 4-5 people early in the morning due to time differences between us and mama-to-be.
Poor T, who is naturally quiet and reserved was so nervous, though he rocked it! I am so proud of him during that call because that was a huge step for him!
After the call, our hearts were so excited to take the next steps offered to us. Seriously this whole experience (and I mean adoption) has been the most beautiful thing we have ever been through. Seriously.
As much as I would love to share every single detail of the beginning of this journey with all of y'all, I hope everyone can understand that we are limiting ourselves to details because it is so close to our hearts. We not only want to cherish some things privately but also want to respect mama-to-be and her family as well. This is something we want to fully embrace and enjoy as time goes by, taking it all in.
We went to the mountains to spend some time with mama-to-be and her family a couple weeks after we were matched. That trip itself was humbling and continues to leave me speechless in how God works.
TJ and I adore Hal’s birth mama, her quirkiness, her love, her strength. She will always amaze us. We are oh so grateful she chose us.
November 11, 2018, Hal is here! Our miracle baby is here! We got a notification from Hal's first mama that her section was needing to be scheduled earlier to due to medical reasons. Pushed up exactly 2 weeks. Her section was going to be scheduled the Sunday that she called. My heart dropped. My emotions were everywhere. I did not know what to do. I quickly called T. He was soothing and said he would talk to his boss and then we would leave. My work has been such a blessing, truly. As I walk in with probably a panicked look, my supervisor and director was so relaxed, calm and patient while talking to me. Because of them and their passion, I was able to leave early. I then called my Aunt Michele, who she and my Uncle were supposed to join us on this trip. I was so scared that they would not be able to come, though knew T and I were strong enough to do this alone. She also was calm and said she would make this work. Thankfully, she and my Uncle were able to come. With a sweet surprise, my sweet Daddy came for the whole time. That was seriously the sweetest surprise I could have ever prayed for. I did not expect my dad to come, but his heart knew I needed him. I will forever be grateful and hold those memories with him in my heart.
We left the Saturday morning before her scheduled section to head up there. It was a total of 13-14 hour drive. The drive was peaceful with scenery that no picture could do justice to. Truly. Her section was scheduled early Sunday morning, though with some unexpected labors coming in, was pushed back.
That whole Sunday, 11/11, was so peaceful. His first mama asked us to be there bright and early. We were and did not leave her side. This whole day was such a blessing, every time I looked around I saw all the glorious love God had shown to us. The team came to get her and wheel her back. TJ and I went and sat in the waiting room for sweet baby Hal to be born with my family and her parents. My emotions were everywhere. I told myself not to cry. I told myself to hold it together, not to look like an emotional wreck. I knew T was nervous, by the way he was moving his hands all around and shaking that right leg. I kept saying "Oh my this is it. My heart needs to be ready for whatever God throws at me. It has to be ready because I do not have any more time to prepare mentally and emotionally". I heard this one really loud cry. I turned to T while at the same time he turned to me. He said "It's him. He is here. I know it." We looked at my Aunt who did not hear it, so then I was like we may just be crazy thinking. My Aunt went to the door and sure enough, she heard the same cry. T followed and listened to his cry. Then I went and listened to his cry.
At 1:15pm my walls fell down. They wheeled him out. I could see his cute little chubby face. I could see so much of his first mama in him. I had this feeling of peace roll over me. I had been praying for God to guide me to where I needed to be and also to wrap my emotions in His arms.
I knew at that point he was not mine, he was his first mama's and I totally respected that. My heart felt so blessed to be on this journey. I took every single moment in. Every minute, every hour.
Once Hal was born, I saw all of the love that was thrown to us. So much love. Adoption is such a beautiful experience y'all, truly. I can never express every single detail of this journey but I can tell you one thing, adoption shows your heart so much of a deeper love. Deeper than anyone can imagine.
Because of his selfless first mama, she wanted us to do skin to skin and also cut his cord. She surprised us with the cutting of the cord, I totally was not expecting that. You see with me, if there is something for me to expect, I have time to filter it through my mind and carry on. When the nurse told us she requested us to cut his cord, my walls totally fell. My heart was crying with joy. Pure joy. She did not have to ask for us to do such a huge thing like this, yet she did. We went into the baby nursery, where I cut the cord with the assistance of T. He was totally nervous. At that point, I could no longer hold any tears back. I cried, I cried very hard. The nurse asked when would we like to "open the curtain for others" and we asked for a moment. We cried, together.
Staring at this miracle baby that God sent us to. We cried because of everyone on this huge Earth we live on, his first mama chose us to experience this with her. She chose us to walk this life with. I will NEVER be able to express my gratitude towards her.
Any wall T and I have built, which mind you has been pretty tall, fell. With all of the waiting, the hurting, our walls have grown to be tall and strong. I never imagined those walls falling as quickly as they did.
We took the time with him after cutting his cord to just look at him, look at how precious he was. We then told the nurse she could open the curtain where I then saw my Aunt, Uncle, sweet Daddy, and her loving parents. All with tears in their eyes. Beautiful y'all, the amount of love from other sides of our country in all one area. Speechless. All with the biggest smiles, the camera's out and all so proud.
Sweet Hal was born healthy and the day of his discharge, Wednesday, we did an entrustment ceremony in the hospital chapel. For those wondering what that means - Entrustment ceremonies can look different from adoption to adoption, but one thing always stays the same; everyone is there to love the child the best way possible and will make it known. With an opening prayer, then the ceremony started were his first mama said her vows to us and to Hal, then handing him to T, where I then read our vows to his first mama. I have not been anything that was as moving as this ceremony. We poured our hearts into our vows and it was known. To look over and see my sweet daddy crying tears of gratefulness made my heart cry with yet again, joy.
We are so blessed, so blessed to witness and be a part of adoption. It is a calling, such a beautiful calling.
With court then our ICPC wait, we were there a total of 2 weeks. Though it was rough missing our family and our home, we tried to take in all the moments with sweet Hal.
Our Aunt and Uncle left to go home 5 days before we got cleared to go. In all honesty, when my Aunt left a part of my heart became so scared. It is hard to explain, but I did not want her to leave. I knew we were so far away from home that if I needed her or anyone in our family they were not close to just come and run. The thought of that scared me so much. I cried to T about my nervousness about it, though as typical, he reassured me everything would be fine and to just trust our process. I think the part of my aunt leaving made me feel like a part of my mom was leaving. She has always been a mother-like figure to me, always holding a big part of my mom in her. Anytime I am around my aunt I can feel my mom's spirit so much. I took my anxieties and worries to prayer, to Him. I got the peace I was asking for and knew we would be home soon.
Thankfully my sweet daddy stayed with us the entire time, which we were so blessed with. We made lots of memories with him! We got clearance to go home the afternoon before Thanksgiving.
When I tell you I told our attorney I loved her, I really did. I was hoping to be home for the holidays, prayed so hard as well as my tribe did. Our God is so good. We were able to be home for the holidays, my heart at this point was overflowing with joy, happiness, gratefulness. I could not stop smiling. I just couldn't.
Loving on Hal for the past 6 months have been AMAZING. We are enjoying every once of him, continuing to be grateful for our journey.
A total of 8 years of waiting for our baby, and it was TOTALLY worth it.
Learn more about the Mollere's story and follow along on their blog here: https://miraclestaketime.weebly.com/