I am so excited to feature the amazing Geri Alicea of Womb Prep in a special guest series all month long about, yep, you read that right … SEX!! Hold onto your seats because this is gonna be good!
Show Him a Lil Somethin’ Somethin’
Men are visual creatures. This is something that researchers have studied extensively and proven to be true. On the Psychology Today website (psychologytoday.com) there’s an article by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. on what triggers sexual desires in men and unsurprisingly (or maybe surprisingly to some) one of the main triggers is visual cues. In this article Dr. Seltzer says: “To begin with, it’s essential to note that the literature specifically studying men’s arousal patterns (gay as well as straight) has repeatedly emphasized their sensitivity to visual cues. As soon as the lust-inspiring image registers in their brain, they become turned-on—not only physically but psychologically, too. Exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates the parts of their brain related to getting an erection.”. This further drives home the point that men get turned on by what they see.
Now, my question for all of you is “what are YOU showing your husband?”. Now that we know it’s been scientifically proven that visual cues turn them on, it’s time to use that to our advantage. Think about this: When your husband looks at you does he see sexy? Do you intentionally dress for sex? What are you showing your husband right before you have sex?
It’s interesting, exotic dancers have a bad reputation as homewreckers but there is a lot they can teach us. The adult entertainment industry is a service based industry and is so successful because they anticipate their customer’s needs and deliver that particular service. As wives, it’s easy for us to look at these women as our enemy but today let’s change that and learn from them. After all, if a woman who doesn’t even know a man’s name can make him pay for visual stimulation; then surely you, as a wife, can do the same. If we’re being honest with ourselves, it’s not that we CAN’T portray sexiness to our men, it’s usually the fact that we’re just not intentional about it.
So ladies, let’s get intentional about our visual communication skills! Don’t know how? Try these things…
1. Dress To Impress Outside The Bedroom
Contrary to popular belief sex doesn’t actually start in the bedroom. It originates in the mind before you ever get to the bed. So with that in mind, it’s important to visually stimulate your husband before it’s actually time for sex. Going on date night? Wear that dress he likes. Spending the day together? Dress up your outfit a little and put on a little make up. (Note: if your husband doesn’t like makeup then go fresh faced with maybe just some lipstick and mascara). Whenever you know you’re going somewhere with your man, dress with him in mind.
2. Dress For Sex Inside The Bedroom
It can become easy to adopt the mindset that what you wear to bed shouldn’t really matter. After all he’s getting what he wants and the end result will be the same whether you wear lingerie or not… so it’s all good right? Um… Not so much, sis. In all honesty, choosing what to wear for sex should be just as important as what you choose for a job interview, church or girls night out. If you don’t already have sexy lingerie to put on then take a trip to your local lingerie store and do some shopping. (Victoria’s Secret currently has their semi-annual sale going on). If you’re uncomfortable going in an actual lingerie store then shop online. There are literally thousands of websites that offer clothing that will visually stimulate your husband. Don’t really know what your husband would like for you to wear? Take him lingerie shopping with you and pick something out together. That kind of field trip is sure to heat things up later on!
3. Put On A Little Show
Now that you’ve got the right attire for the occasion, it’s time for some entertainment. Make your husband have a seat and do a sexy strip tease for him. Thankfully you don’t really have to be a stripper to do a strip tease. Really all you need is the right music, sexy attire and confidence to be successful. Doing this will give him the visual stimulation he needs while setting the tone for what’s about to happen.
Visually stimulating your husband may take some adjustments on your part but in most situations it’s an easily achievable goal. All it takes is a willingness to understand what your husband needs and give it to him using visual cues.