This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. A week created to bring awareness to the horrible condition of infertility. So this week on the Embrace Bravery blog, you’ll hear stories from women who have braved the diagnosis of infertility, but are choosing to believe that this is just a season and they are experiencing delayed fertility. These women choose to believe in a big God who can do big things and a God who is bigger than any diagnosis.
Meet Leah Hoverman, the activities coordinator of Embrace Bravery. This is her story.
I know that infertility is a hard topic to discuss for most people. For me infertility is a road block to what the Lord has planned for me and my life. It all started 15 years ago in November of 2009. I got pregnant and then by the advice of my doctor saying I wouldn’t be able to carry to full term, I aborted the baby. Broken and hurt we kept trying for 4 years until July of 2013 when I finally was able to get pregnant again.
I was the happiest I have ever been. I saw 2 different doctors during this time with scares of down syndrome and gestational diabetes. All to turn out negative. On April 2nd, 2014 I went into labor and was rushed to the hospital because I was losing so much blood. When I got there the doctors said that they needed to take the baby because there was no heart beat and if I didn’t remove the baby from my body I would die. I was in the operating room for an hour while the doctors tried to figure out why the baby passed with no answers.
I again got pregnant in 2016 only to lose another pregnancy.
Today April 24th, 2018 I still try and cannot seem to get pregnant. It has become harder and harder each month to see my cycle start and when my cycle is late to see the negative test each month. The pain from not being able to get pregnant is so hard that it hurts more and more each month. Seeing others that I know getting pregnant and getting the blessing of the family I long for just tears me up to no end. I even see people that are in no condition to be having children and then look at my situation and know in my heart that I can give a child the best loving home.
I always say: Why them and why not me? Have I done something so terrible that I am not worthy of having children? Am I being punished for something I don’t know about? Will it ever be my time?
One day the Lord spoke to me and told me I needed to trust in Him. Even though I was still upset that I wasn’t getting pregnant I listened to him. I started to pray more and more for what I wanted and I’m drawing circles around my prayers and standing firm in what I want and believe that the Lord wants for me.
Ever since I turned my infertility over to the Lord I have seen transformation in my life. I can clearly hear what the Lord has to say, and I believe it when the Lord says that he will bless me with a girl.
I am now able to dream big and pray bold prayers. I have been able to leave the abortion at the foot of the cross and turn it over to God. Infertility has given me a better relationship with God and what a true father’s love looks like. In the song Oceans by Hillsong it says “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders”. I must tear down all the walls and trust God with all my life from the little things to the big things. How can God trust me with one of His children if I cannot trust Him with the life He has given me?
Infertility has also given me the ability to share my story with others that are also struggling. I want to give hope to others that can’t see the good in things and show them that no matter what they are going through they should stay in faith and keep praying big and bold prayers.
Stay tuned tomorrow, as you hear again from our founder on how the Lord brought forth peace and hope, and in turn birthed Embrace Bravery.
Missed Part 1 of our founder’s story? Click here to read it now, before the second part of her story is released.