I am so excited to feature the amazing Geri Alicea of Womb Prep in a special guest series all month long about, yep, you read that right … SEX!! Hold onto your seats because this is gonna be good!
Haven’t read the first post, yet? Click here.
Boring Sex? No Thank You!
Sex should be a lot of things – passionate, spontaneous, exhilarating, hot, flirty. But it should NEVER, ever be boring!
There’s this myth that married sex for Christian couples has to equate to boring sex. And this just isn’t true.
The reality is that sex is what you make it. So it can be as hot and passionate or as dull and boring as you (and your spouse) want it to be.
Boredom during sex usually comes from one of two things:
- A lack of communication of what each other needs.
- An unwillingness to give what the other person desires.
As married couples it’s easy to think that you automatically know what your spouse wants or needs in the bedroom. But the truth is that you’ve changed, your spouse has changed, both of your bodies have changed; so there’s a good chance what you like during sex has changed too. What your spouse liked at 25 when you first got married may be a little different now at 35 or 45. The key is to have a candid conversation and find out what your spouse needs from you during sex. Now this conversation will undoubtedly be a bit awkward and you will have to be willing to truly listen and later incorporate what was mentioned. But I would rather you endure a few minutes of awkwardness rather than continue down a road of sexual boredom.
Sex is a game of give and take – you’re giving your spouse what they need and simultaneously taking what you need from them.
The issue comes in when both parties begin taking more than they are giving. This results in a selfish mentality of “every man for himself” and no one is truly satisfied afterwards. But the remedy to this is to begin giving more than taking. After you’ve had the conversation about what each other wants and needs during sex, really think about what was expressed. Does your spouse want (more) oral sex? Do they want you to take the initiative sometimes? Do you need to go lingerie shopping? Does your spouse want to try a new position? Whatever has been expressed during that conversation, make a commitment of doing it for your spouse. If there’s something that you’re uncomfortable with doing, if at all possible (and if it doesn’t go against your moral standards) step out of your comfort zone and try it anyway. If you’re adamant on not doing something your spouse has expressed then have a follow up conversation and try to come to a compromise with them.
Communication and generosity are what makes sex fun and exhilarating.
So find out what your spouse needs. Be generous in giving your spouse what they need. And have a good time doing it! Remember God loves a cheerful giver!😂🤣
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